duckdives

Sterling Spencer went through a bit of an ordeal — the kind that changes how you see everything. Since then, he’s been exploring mindfulness and awareness in a way that feels both deep and disarmingly normal. At the end of one of his YouTube videos ( check it ), he credited a few of the people who’d shaped his thinking. Sterling’s always towed that weird line between satire and sincerity — half joke, half revelation — and the video reflects both. But there’s something honest underneath it that’s hard to ignore. So I’m going to do the same — minus the ordeal (hopefully). Sterling mentioned a list of names that clearly meant a lot to him: Wim Hof, Alan Watts, J. Krishnamurti, Ram Dass, Mooji, and Thich Nhat Hanh. I’ve heard those names plenty of times, but I’ve never actually sat down to read them. So this is me trying to fix that — to build a little reading list, follow the threads, and see if any of it makes sense. I’ll be starting with: Wim Hof — The Wim Hof Method Alan Watts — ...

Been surfing The Wave in Bristol UK a bunch lately. It’s my closest wave pool — easier to fit in around work and real life than chasing swell and tides like I could in my youth. Not as cool as the ocean, but it keeps some of the rust off — like the gym, for when I can’t get in the sea. The sea’s chaos. The pool’s math. Still surfing, though. The Wave Bristol runs on WaveGarden Cove tech — basically a long row of underwater paddles that shove water into shape. Giant mechanical arms inside the central pier, firing in sequence like a slow-motion domino effect. Each one pushes water out, and as that lump of energy rolls down the lagoon, more paddles join in until it turns into something that actually feels like a wave. Until recently, between sets I’d convince myself it was water jets or air pressure. But no — straight engineering. Metal, motors, and timing. And somehow, it works — a new wave every few seconds, throwing out settings from waist-high slop to barrels you can just about tuck ...

Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail. Just trying to hold it together like the nail does.

Second Expert Barrels session at "The Wave" wave pool in Bristol, UK.

This isn’t for followers. It’s not for clicks. It’s for me. A reminder to write things down. To track the small stuff. To actually see what I’m doing instead of just drifting. Surfing used to feel easy — now it’s work. Good kind of work though. The kind that keeps you coming back, even when it’s not working. Writing helps. Editing helps more. Makes it harder to ignore the dumb stuff I keep repeating. If you somehow ended up here — respect. You probably get it. This isn’t curated. It’s notes, noise, and slow progress. A washed-up surfer documenting the decline.